Engage your senses

When you crave some sexy fun with yourself or with a partner, it can seem perfectly logical to jump straight for the naughty bits. While a quickie is always fun, you can enjoy a lot more pleasure if you take the time to engage your whole body and all of your senses. As with everything on this site, I invite you to think of this as a springboard into your own creativity. I love the smell of rosemary, you might prefer sage. I like the feel of warm wax on my skin, you might prefer ice cubes. You are the only expert whose opinion matters in your own sex life, so please feel free to add and improvise on these tried and true methods for taking your whole body on an erotic journey:


Interestingly enough, most of us do not realize how much sensory information we receive through our noses. Before we can see or hear something, our nose often catches a scent on the wind. In order to taste something properly, we need to be able to smell the odors of the food. We can be profoundly turned on or turned off by a smell. Setting up a space with incense or scented candles can be terrific for setting the right mood—provided everyone involved is turned on by the chosen scent. Trikola is an especially lovely brand of original herbal incense. Trikola is natural, fair trade/cottage industry—good for you and for the global economy!


Once something smells nice, our eyes typically want to take a look. Candles can do wonders to enhance the mood. There's also a bit of science behind this, too. Lower lighting causes the pupils to dilate, which is one way the brain recognizes attraction. In other words, it can help you appear more alluring. Flowers are also a lovely way to bring color and gentle fragrance into the room. I especially like the combination of pale roses and deep purple calla lilies, but pick whatever flowers you like.


A massage candle can provide the perfect combination of sensual lighting and warm, luxurious sensation. Soy massage candles burn at a lower temperature than paraffin candles, making it safe to pour the wax directly onto the skin for a sensual massage. Standard massage oils and creams are great too. I especially like sexy scents like ylang ylang, amber and sandalwood. Any basic guide to aromatherapy will explain the properties and effects of different scents and will help you choose the right scent to create the mood you like.


Our taste buds are as unique as our fingerprints. On my short list for sexy foods are a nice full bodied red wine, oysters (zinc, trace minerals and protein, the building blocks for great sex) and of course lots of dark chocolate and strawberries (antioxidants and natural sugar for energy). What's on your sexy menu?


Though many people say alcohol is a social lubricant, I'd wager that music is infinitely more influential in setting the mood. It's also considerably cheaper and less prone to accidental intoxication. Create a sensual playlist for a special evening with your special someone. If you aren't sure of your new partner's musical tastes, stick to instrumental music with a gentle beat. Buddha Bar is a great band in the world music category. They sample a wide variety of music to create a lush, mysterious, decidedly erotic vibe.

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